I was, in many ways, drawn to the pain of the mother in C.S. Lewis,’ The Great Divorce. I can identify with so much of her anguish. I do not desire that my children love me more than anyone else; neither do I place them in the place of God in my life. However, I am fearful of the wiles of Satan and of the devices he uses to snare all children, but it seems even more so the children of the household of faith.
I perceive, at this point in my life, that I spend the majority of my time equipping my children. I am committed to their growth in all areas, but, need to guard against being out-of-balance in my care and concern. I have to allow them the freedom to grow and to become women of standard, integrity and faith in their own regard.
In order to accomplish this necessary process of freeing our daughters to become—whatever it is God has for them to become I can engage in the following activities, as much for my own preservation as theirs.
- I can pray specifically for their discernment and spiritual growth. They cannot survive on mom and dad’s faith. They cannot be saved through our belief. I pray that the professions of faith they have made and will make are true.
- I can continue to model the walk that I am praying they emulate. I can’t do it for them, but, I can be a good example in front of them. This has been my goal since their births and I believe I’ve been consistent, but, need to adjust in some ways for the older two now 9 and 11.
- I must continue to encourage them in being different than the world and holding to their Christian worldview.
3 John 1:11 Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God. I must continue to walk the Christian’s Walk as defined in Ephesians 4:17-32.
17 So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind,
18being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart;
19and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness.
20But you did not learn Christ in this way,
21if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus,
22that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit,
23and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind,
24and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.
25Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another.
26BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
27and do not give the devil an opportunity.
28He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need.
29Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.
30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
31Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
- My “Stable” style focuses on family. I will continue to keep my family a highest priority but, will not allow myself to put them in the highest place of my affections—that is the place that belongs to God alone.
- Lastly, I will use my gift as a good listener to encourage my children. I have done this with peers, but, find that within the home (with the children) I talk more than I listen.